Alpenrose Six Day Three Sheer Madness!

Where, oh where, to begin--oh yes that’s right:

¡The whole freaking Sixday has been turned on its head!

Before we get into that though, just know that I was sans amanuensis (editor’s note: I am not a hand slave, more of a domestique) today and forced to write my own notes. Being that I am left-handed and severely broken on that side

makes my handwriting as decipherable to me as hieroglyphics and limits my reporting abilities (blame the injury, not the alcohol). So today’s post may be even less factual than usual. But none of that really matters because, “the goddamn plane has crashed into the goddamn mountain!”

First off, Joshua Weir of team BMC missed the start of the first race, the miss n’ out, which puts team BMC an automatic 5 laps down. Breaking the race wide open and almost breaking our jaws from amazement.

Miss n, Out

BMC went down the introductory five laps due to teammate malfunction but Sasha Lacey had the dubious distinction of being the first one to “miss out”. What would have been a big surprise had the previous event not transpired but was now only slightly odd, Jimmy Lingwood, who’s ridden impressively strong for the past two days, was pulled second. Which would have been a bigger surprise but with the BMC soap opera in full swing it only registered as a blip on the radar of craziness. Tony Kic played a magnificent devil for most of the race, no small feat at Alpenrose. Each lap around he looked to be the sacrificial lamb hanging on the back of the pack but he managed each time to pip someone down low. People sent to the sidelines by Kic included: 9th Boxberger, 8th Hoefer, 7th Dumortier, 6th Simmons, 5th Drake, 4th Blackwelder (oh yes, he nipped his own teammate, but what are you going to do when you’re the devil?). In the end it was Hartley, Beardsley and Kic battling it out for the three-up sprint. Kic made a one lap bid diving out of turn four with one to go but was quickly marked and passed by Beardsley and Hartley, so much for evil always winning. Beardsley held off Hartley in an impressive push to claim victory. Oh and by the way, Beardsley/Lingwood took over first overall with Hartley/Weir losing 5 laps. As the great Gonzo once proclaimed, “when things get weird, the weird turn pro”


Unknown Distance

Alpenrose tradition dictates that the distance of the race is determined by the rolling of dice. Since this was a two dice race (or 2D6 for all you Lonely Wizards out there) probabilities mandate that 6 or 8 will be the most likely distances. Trusting to the laws of probability no one went early (boring!). Carl Hoefer, perhaps tending more toward 6 rather than 8, made a bid on lap 5 but was quickly marked by the field (slightly exciting!). Lap 6 came and Peter Drake moved to the front, likely a disciple of 8 (the ocho). Drake rode the front for two laps but was failed by probability on this occasion because the magic number was 9. Oddly enough I can’t read what I wrote, but the finish was probably 1st Hartley, 2nd Beardsley, 3rd Lingwood, 4th Weir. 5th Blackwelder.


The revelations just keep coming. It turns out that Hartley/Weir came to the Alpenrose Six with the intention of collecting the fabulous cash prizes and swag doled out for days 1-3 (Ed. Note: This officially changes their Lord of the Rings affiliation to Sauron/Saurumon: the evil lord/wizard who attempted to conquer middle earth/Alpenrose). After cashing out for this race both riders have previous (but separate) obligations and may or may not be here for the remaining three days (No judgements here, it has been a pleasure to watch these two ride. Good luck to the both of them in their race season!).
Holy crap though! This is a whole new race. The five lap setback put Hartley/Weir in a bit of a predicament. If they wanted to win that green for the day they needed to lap at least 3 teams 5 times or more in the Madison.

40 Minute Madison

Due to all the previous calamity and the whole broken collarbone thing I really haven’t the slightest idea what my notes say for this one but the gist of it was....
After the first five laps the pace became rather brisk to say the least. The field exploded after the first sprint with Hartley/Weir and Beardsley/Lingwood pulling away from the rest of the teams and proceeded to put the proverbial “hurt” on the pack. Kic/Blackwelder held a half lap deficit on the BMC&GMC teams for ten minutes before succumbing to the brutal pace. Hartley/Weir gained a lap on the Gentle Lovers and a couple laps on the remaining three teams. More importantly in the race for overall Sixday victory and the national championship Beardsley/Lingwood gained a lap on Kic/Blackwelder, their closest rivals, heretofore which they had been unable to shake. Hartley/Weir and Beardsley/Lingwood worked smoothly together keeping a relentless pace no one else could hope to match without Burt Reynolds and Farrah Fawcett pacing the pack.

In the end Beardsley/Lingwood gained two laps on Kic/Blackwelder. It came down to the wire but Hartley/Weir in the last handful of laps gained their 5th lap on Drake/Boxberger to reach the money and keep their pride.

Crazy and Maybe Accurate Overall Results

1. Beardsley/Lingwood -1 laps 155pts
2. Kic/Blackwelder -3 laps 110pts
3. Hartley/Weir -5 laps 169pts
4. Drake/Boxberger -10 laps 55pts
5. Dumortier/Lacey -15 laps 44 pts
6. Simmons/Hoefer -15 laps 43pts

Post Script: We apologize for the lack of B group coverage this evening. I (Casey) had an obligation to fulfill regarding an upcoming bike-polo tourney in Seattle (our hated rivals) and couldn't make it out to the track to help James take notes and keep his pain addled mind concentrated. Tomorrow will be another day though so have faith in us my lads/ladies. Good night and good luck.