Mike Rice is awesome.

So this got linked on the Blazersedge comment section and I found out some interesting facts about Mike Rice. Some of my favorite moments in the article:
Steve "Snapper" Jones had this to say:

“Mike is a fan of basketball, and he loves what he’s doing,” Jones says. “He also really cares about the team. He absolutely dies with each loss and is sky-high after every win. He rides the emotional wave of being a Blazer. He takes it as seriously as anybody who has ever been in the organization. He is as emotionally attached as Schonz was. It’s Mike Rice’s life. If you were to take it away, he’d be wandering down somewhere by the Burnside Bridge.”

Another co-worker shares this little insight:

“At the end of a season, when he sends his clothes to the cleaners, there are about five pounds of oatmeal cookie crumbs. Before he gets off the team plane, he stuffs everything he can into his pockets: sandwiches, candy bars, what have you.”

And it sheds a bit of light on the infamous ejection that Rice got back in 1994:

In the third quarter, the Blazers’ Cliff Robinson had a shot he thought was goaltended, but it wasn’t called. Robinson looked at Rice on the way upcourt, “and I made a goaltending gesture to him,” Rice says. “Javie saw me do it.”
Subsequently, Doucette recalls, “Mike made the choke sign. I don’t think Javie liked it.”
According to Rice, as Javie ran by Rice’s courtside seat, the analyst was saying, “Justice is not being served.”
Javie approached Rice and said, “Just do your piddly little job and leave the officiating to me.”
“My piddly little job?” Rice replied. “I’m not the one who blew the call.”
After another exchange, Javie motioned him to the exits with, “You’re outta here.”
A security guard escorted Rice into the tunnel toward the locker room.

Baron Davis, dressed for success.

Boom Dizzle rocking the old school outfits and looking damn good.

Ime Udoka is so very awesome.

So I ran across this little amazing bit of storytelling out there. Apparently the former Blazer and Portland native Ime Udoka knows his way around a street brawl. Here's the full story:

THE IME UDOKA STORY

It’s a trip when you get to know people. Ime was so quiet and I figured he was just some guy who could play with a Nigerian father. Well, folks in S.A., don’t be fooled. That dude in an Afr-I-CAN! I mean damn! The only thing non-African about him is his accent. We went to Nigeria, man… When they brought out the food I figured uh oh… He aint eatin’ th… What the?! Ime was tearing that Fu-fu (thank Jay-Z for everyone knowing what that is now) to shreads. I asked him about his adornment of the vittles. He said that’s all he ate growing up. Imagine my surprise when I saw he must have grown up doing the African ju-jitsu too.

When the National Team went to Algeria for the African Championships in Algiers, every team was on edge because the Top 3 squads got the invite to the World Championships. So after we lost to Angola in the semis and had to play Algeria for the third spot, they knew, we knew, everyone knew they had no shot. First quarter… Tactics. African ball, man. Trust me: as corrupt as can be. Despite all the cheating from the three-man (North African) refereeing crew they just couldn’t beat us. So the coach sent in their best player, who was injured but came in with a purpose. I think his name was Ali Bidane or something. We had the ball out of bounce under. He guarded me. As the ref handed us the ball, he turned, looked at me as if there was not a game going on. And pop! Not an elbow, not even a signature yours truly gutter. He decked me right in the jaw. I couldn’t believe it. And come on. I freely admit when I throw cheap shots. I wouldn’t hide it if I started to. I mean, I’m in the middle of basically middle eastern country playing the local team. I know better (read on to see my contradiction). He nailed me, we turned it over, and yes, my Rodman 101 class did well. I looked up court, saw both refs back and calmly asked him in by most polite French, “Pardon me sir, I object to you striking me.” Next thing you know… Both teams on the court going at it. Wow.

Imagine my surprise! (My cheeks hurt). That wasn’t the real brawl. After we won was the real issue. After the game, they were waiting for us to come out of the locker room. And seriously, I didn’t start it. Kingsley Ogwudire was in front of our team in an all-out tirade in his best Arabic. The next thing you know, there were three Algerian players on him. Everyone was engaged in combat save me, if you can believe it. And lo and ehold… Ime! He was taking people out like in Mortal Kombat. Finish him! Incredible. I was so out of it as I had five guys I was fighting (oh yeah, the crowd jumped in as the fight spilled over to the court of the championship game of Senegal and Angola).

In the middle of the whole thing I heard Ime, literally in mid-swing of another opponent say,”Watch back, Gabe” and he calmly, I mean calmly, smeared a guy who, as I turned to see his warning, jumped from the stands with a chair to probably kill me or knock me out to where the crowd would have. I mean, Ime caught the guy in mid air with a fist and calmly continued his dispacthing of oncoming people. He and other guys (yes, me too) were whoopin’ so many people the crowd backed up. True to the letter! But Ime had the most notches by far. As we retreated to the locker room to kind chants of, “You cudly blackies! We highly doubt your ability to leave this gym with lives intact” in French, (it might have been a bad translation) all I could do was marvel at Ime. This guy, I thought, was a quiet American guy was standing there – all his stuff gone (gym bag, wallet, shoes, jersey) – with a stick in his hand we tore off the walls of the locker room in the middle of North Africa quite literally with our lives on the line… laughing. All the while I was texting my wife that I loved her and might have a hard time seeing her again while she was watching the whole incident on BBC News. And Ime… laughing. He is and always will be my 9ja broda. Ime… Wetin happen bros? Abi na notin. Notin dey happen. To this day I don’t know how we got out of there. But that night we ate like kings at the Nigerian Embassy. And Ime was with us… Killing his Fu-fu.

Tell me how I could have seen a thing like that if I had made the NBA out of college! You just can’t make this stuff up.

Shalom.

Thanks to Truehoop for finding the story and thanks to Gabe Muoneke for sharing it.

Hello and hi (howdy) from a long lost friend.

So I know I haven't been a very good blogger lately. I had a pretty good run keeping this thing updated and then I hit that rookie wall. I did a huge disservice to the community and I apologize. I can understand you are all upset with me but in reality I don't really think anyone gives a shit. So I am trying to make a comeback. Been lifting weights, reading a bunch of internet blogs and keeping up with breaking news stories. So lets see if I can win you back shall we? Ok, so most of my ability is based on posting things other people have posted but that I find funny as well. Let's keep that going with this little gem of amazing stupidity:

http://view.break.com/410861 - Watch more free videos
So here's some thoughts on this one:
1. I enjoy the kicking action toward the end of the wreck. You really get a feel for the desperate fear that this moron is having as he helplessly kicks his legs at the bike while sliding down what seems to be a sandhill.
2. Is that a sandhill? Jesus, are people really this stupid? oh wait. of course they are.
3. Speaking of if people are this stupid. Is it unfortunate that I can see this happening out at the Rickreal Open with my friends? I mean I can imagine at least 3 people I know making this completely idiotic mistake at 4am wasted on root beer schnapps.
Thanks for reading and I promise to make some more posts soon.

P.S: why don't I just hand this whole blog over to clips I find humorous? Ok, I will!

Bill Walton. Throwing it down old school.

So I found this rambling about on the internet and I figure the world must see it.
Thanks to the NBA Fanhouse for the find.

Holy crap...

Gilbert Arenas just blew my mind...again. This man is a pure genius. I will just have to go ahead and directly quote him on this one:

There Are No Such Thing as Shark Attacks

I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.

There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.

I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.

We’re humans. We live on land.

Sharks live in water.

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.

When I see on the news where it’s like, “There have been 10 shark attacks,” I’m like, “Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.”

Yes, I have been hearing a lot about these "landsharks":

Garnett heads east.

-Psst...I stole this pic from Freedarko, don't tell anyone, ok?

So Boston has pried away the Big Ticket from Minnesota and it only cost them an arm and half a leg. The Associated Press is reporting on this "unofficial" story but it would appear it is all but a certainty KG will be in the Town of Beans next season. Coming to the Timberwolfies is a veritable smörgåsbord of players (keep in mind this is not an official list as it can change but will most likely include some assortment of these guys): forward Al Jefferson, guard Sebastian Telfair, swingman Gerald Green and center Theo Ratliff. Along with these players is most likely a future first round pick and a photograph from the future showing the grave Danny Ainge will be buried in if the Celtics fail to win a championship (it will disappear a la "Back to the Future" if they do win).

Tom Ziller over at the NBA Fanhouse makes a very interesting point about all this:

You know what else that would mean? Garnett, Pierce and Ray Allen would earn roughly $60 million in 2008-09, and about $64 million in 2009-10. Yes, the team will be close to the luxury tax for the next three seasons on just those three salaries. (Meanwhile, San Antonio's Big Three -- Duncan, Parker, and Manu -- will cost about $40 million a year during that stretch.) And if the purported trade scenario comes true -- most good young Celtics prospects and a handful of draft picks are due to Minnesota -- then the well for cheap but productive role players is bone dry. Even funding the midlevel every year would get too pricey with luxury tax considerations.

This all points to the fact that Boston is gonna need to win a championship soon or else heads will roll